


us against the world

by alexanderlightweight



Series: Words of October 2019 [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Autistic Alec Lightwood, Canon Compliant, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Did the Author Heavily Project onto this Story, Domestic Fluff, Life and People are Overwhelming, M/M, Overstimulation of the Mental Kind, Sleepy Cuddles, Snow, Soft Kisses, Soft Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Stress, autistic author, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 22:33:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20881757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexanderlightweight/pseuds/alexanderlightweight
Summary: The world is a heavy burden to bear but it's easier with two to share the weight.Flufftober Day/Prompt 2: Snow





	us against the world

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after a meltdown and it's based off different things that personally make me feel better and that I do. Not every autistic person has the same experiences or stims or comforts. 
> 
> Warnings: There is like tiny biting? but not actual biting? no skin broken or blood or anything.

The world outside their bed is cold. The tip of Alec’s nose is chilled and it’s with a small scowl that he turns towards Magnus. His husband is sleeping still and Alec, though loathe to disturb him, is both cold and lonely. 

It seems strange maybe, to be lonely when in bed with someone. Lately however, life and responsibilities have been adding up. Nothing terrible has happened, but Alec still feels the pressure of the world weighing down on him, a little heavier each day. Conversations and teasing from his family that should be easy and fun, with him teasing in return have instead started to hit a little harder and cut a little deeper.

Alec’s learned not to push his own feelings aside but talking with them never does anything. They push him, poke and prodding at him in a misguided attempt to help when what he needs is for them to back off and give him some space.

Magnus is different, he’s always been different.

It’s what draws Alec to him now. Lets him press against Magnus and burrow into his warmth. Magnus stirs against him gently, a soft hum before he settles, closer to him than before but not nearly enough.

Alec moves closer still. His cold nose presses against Magnus’ collarbone and his husband shivers in protest. A sleep heavy arm is thrown across his shoulders pulling him until the space between them is a myth. Strong fingers rub across his back and soothes aches that aren’t just physical. 

Tears sting Alec’s eyes and his throat dries up. He feels scratchy and overwhelmed and suddenly everything but the feel of Magnus against him is too much. 

He’s not sure how long it feels like that. He doesn’t want to move. That might make it worse and take him away from the safety that is Magnus against him. 

It’s not until there’s a grunt from under him and Magnus moves his hand from Alec’s back to grip his hair, gentle but firm that Alec realizes he’s lost time and drifted. 

He lets out a quiet whisper of wordless apology and releases the chunk of Magnus’ shoulder that he’d started chewing on. Pressing tiny kisses against the irritated skin in apology. 

“Come here love,” is murmured against his hair and then he’s being rolled.

Magnus is a hot, solid mass on top of him. Something in Alec settles then. It calms his mind and the words he’s been struggling to find cease to be needed. 

It doesn’t fix everything but it helps.

Alec knows they had plans, but Magnus doesn’t move. Instead, when at some point the tension in Alec has relaxed to some degree, he shifts. Instead of getting off of him, Magnus moves, Keeps their legs tangled together as he turns, pulling Alec into his lap and Alec can hear the familiar snap of fingers. Their soft and luxurious duvet is replaced with something just as soft but it’s heavier and cool. Between the comfort of Magnus’ lap beneath his head and the newly formed blanket on top of him, Alec drifts again. 

He doesn’t fall back asleep, not quite. 

Instead his world is turned into the feel of Magnus’ fingers in his hair. The gentle tug on a tangled curl, the scratch of nail against his scalp and the murmur of Magnus’ voice as he reads aloud to himself. 

It’s afternoon before Alec fully comes back to himself, sated and relaxed and content to stay there. It’s one of their few days off however and as much as he would love to never leave their bed, he's been looking forward to going out for a reason other than work. 

It might still take a few hours before he’s ready to leave the house, but he is genuinely excited by the prospect of doing anything with his husband. 

He squeezes Magnus’ thigh, lets him know he’s back and gets fingers tenderly brushing over his cheek in response.

“Izzy texted about meeting up for dinner tonight with her and Simon.”

Alec glares at the insides of his eyelids. Well, he’s excited for almost anything it seems, since that is honestly one of the last things he’d like to do and he shakes his head.

“I’ll tell them we have plans,” is all Magnus says and he feels better for it. 

They go out that night and the cold air is a delight. It makes their breath mist into the air and Magnus uses magic so that their hands, intertwined as they are, stay warm. It doesn’t stop Alec from continually crowding close to him. Stealing delicate kisses against his cheeks and nuzzling his neck. 

The park Magnus takes him to is almost empty, a balm to Alec’s worn edges and the park bench the settle on, leaning against each other for comfort more than warmth, looks out across a frosted pond.

“It might snow tonight,” Magnus tells him and Alec brings his hand up to press a kiss to his knuckles instead of speaking. Alec feels better but still off kilter, like a kite caught in a gale and Magnus is his tether, the one slowly winding the thread and bringing him safely back to the ground. 

They stay longer than any mundane would think to, admiring the atmosphere and watching as the first flurries of snow gently fall. It’s beautiful and new and Alec breathes easier, steadier now with his thoughts connecting easier than before. 

“Thank you,” he says quietly. He knows Magnus wants no thanks but he wants to offer it, to give it just like this wonderful man has given him a sanctuary from life and the world.

“It was just one of those days and I had a lovely time.” Magnus tells him just as softly, “in fact I think we should look into going away for a week. We could both use some time to ourselves. We can ignore our phones and enjoy the changing of the seasons. Anything less than the world once again trying to end and we ignore it.”

“I’d love that,” Alec admits and reaches a hand beyond their bubble of contentment to catch a snowflake on his finger. It’s crisp and cold and melts into a tiny drop on the contact, “us against the world then?”

“Always, Alexander.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I headcanon Alec as autistic in the show and anything for Shadowhunters I write is written that way, this is tagged for it specifically because it deals with a meltdown.
> 
> I'm on tumblr as [alexanderlightweight](https://alexanderlightweight.tumblr.com)


End file.
